


An Impossible Goodbye

by Yellow_Bird_On_Richland



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pain, Suffering, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27606607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Bird_On_Richland/pseuds/Yellow_Bird_On_Richland
Summary: Jamie writes as carefully as she can, despite her sobbing, taking painstaking care to get every word correct.She can ruin this copy with her tears, but she wants the original--every loop, curl, and angle of Dani’s handwriting, the last trace of her existence--preserved as perfectly as possible.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Kudos: 41





	An Impossible Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> My version of Dani’s letter to Jamie. This show and these two, in particular, destroyed me, and I had to pour the angst out somewhere. 
> 
> Promise I’m also working on a happy Dani/Jamie fic because they deserve it, dammit.

Dear Jamie, my heart, my everything,

I've finally reached the beast in the jungle. Or it's finally reached me.

I couldn't have wanted a better best friend, partner, lover, or wife to keep my company while I waited for its arrival, but it's here. Or was here, about ten minutes ago.

I woke up with my hand around your throat tonight, with my fingers almost squeezing your neck. I managed to stave off Viola this time, but I don't know if I can do it again. And though I'm leaving this world soon, I want to do it on my terms, not hers, and those include, above all else, ensuring your safety, preserving your life.

If this seems like a coward's exit, please know it's not. It's only because I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to your face, with you arguing against me with persuasion and kisses (and by the way, I've always adored your stubbornness). I can't afford to wait any longer, though I want to. Believe me, I want nothing more.

You've shared every piece of yourself with me, my darling, just as I have with you, in the greatest gift of my life. But I'm selfish. So I'm giving you these four requests to complete once I've left.

First, remember that dead doesn't mean gone. I'll be with you, always. In your garden, in your kitchen, in your living room. Everywhere we loved, everywhere we laughed. Even at Bly, in our stolen afternoons and golden mornings and late nights. And I'll fly to wherever you are especially, especially quickly whenever you next plant a moonflower.

Second-and I'm sorry, because I've requested the near impossible of you plenty of times over the years, and I'm about to do it again-but try to find peace, or happiness. It doesn't have to be this week, this month, this year, or even next year. But please, please try. For me.

Third, remember: you made me stupidly, deliriously happy and content every day we were together. Every one of these two thousand and seventy five days, plus every last one at Bly. You cracked open my world and poured so much love, care, and tenderness into it, I always worried it would burst. And learning how to do that in kind was the best legacy I could hope to leave behind.

Fourth, know this truth in your bones: I love you endlessly, Jamie.

Forever yours, and forever your Poppins,

Dani


End file.
